Free Time=Stress

I have a fantastic husband. Case in point: He took our two-year-old out to the Children's Museum last Sunday so I could have some time to myself. We timed it so they left right at the start of Cam's morning nap, which typically lasts two hours or so. As they walked out the door a wave of euphoria hit. I'm free!

A list suddenly popped up in my head of things I've wanted to do, but couldn't with two kids hanging on me every hour; write, call friends, read a book, get my nails done, go for a run, the list goes on and on.

Obviously I was limited. I had to stay home with Cam so running and getting a quick pedi were out. But still the two hours of free time stretched invitingly before me and I began to get anxious. Who knows when this will happen again? I need to make the most of it! What's the best possible way to spend this time? Not worrying about it, that's for sure. I've already wasted 15 minutes! Argh!

First I took a shower. After getting dressed I just lazed around and read the latest novel I'm obsessed with (American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld). After awhile I looked up from my book and saw a text, "On our way home." Huh. What the heck did I accomplish in these two hours? Not much. I didn't clean the kitchen, write my first novel or catch up with old friends, I just took a shower and read. But those two simple things made me feel more like myself, and in my book that's a perfect way to spend some free time.

Full Moon

I love to go out to eat. And every weekend I have a case of temporary amnesia and think, "Let's take the kids to a restaurant. It can't be that bad, right?"

Wrong. Somehow I forget how stressful it is eating out with a toddler and baby. Tim and I end up both shoveling our meals into our mouths while keeping Cam and Nora from wreaking complete havoc. We leave the restaurant exhausted, cranky and usually $50 or more poorer.  Plus, if you asked me what I just ate, I wouldn't be able to remember.

Luckily, we found Full Moon Restaurant in Cambridge not that long ago. There's still havoc and screaming, but (horray!) the noise isn't just coming from our kids but other people's kids. The restaurant has a small playroom off the main dining room which is in view of most tables.  There's a train table, books, a play kitchen and all sorts of other toys that keep little ones occupied. For the babies who are stuck at the table with mom and dad, the wait staff brings a plastic bucket full of small plastic toys to the table.

As for the food, it's delicious. Think real food that you would get at a "date night" restaurant, like grilled steak with bleu cheese butter, mussels with chorizo or our favorite, homemade nachos.  And the best part?  You can actually eat this delectable meal and have a glass of wine while your child plays, screams and runs around without offending anyone nearby because the parents at the next table are just happy their child isn't the only one making a scene.

                                                    Our table during brunch at Full Moon.

Failure?

Last weekend a friend of mine who works outside the home told me she's been thinking of me lately. In a nutshell, she has been home on maternity leave with her newborn and has had a tough time balancing taking care of a baby and a toddler at the same time. She said she goes to bed each night feeling like a failure because she hasn't been able to give her full attention to either child. She then said she realized that I must feel like a failure every day because I'm home all the time and that this must be so damaging to my psyche.

Um, thanks?

Needless to say, I've been thinking about the concept of failure quite a bit since that uplifting and life-affirming exchange. My friend has a point. Am I devoting as much of my day to Cameron's development as I used to with Nora? No. Are there times when I'm changing Cam, or feeding Cam or chasing after Cam and Nora is begging me to play with her? Yes. Do I feel awful? Yup. But I know deep down I'm not a failure. Especially lately. Cam has become more of a human and truly enjoys his interactions with Nora. They're buddies. And who knows how their relationship with grow over time, but they will always have each other. And for that I am not a failure.

Mommy's new best friend...her iPhone

I like to think that I'm not materialistic and obviously I know deep down, a new phone isn't going to change my life, but I really, really wanted an iPhone. Unfortunately we had a pesky 2-year contract with Sprint that finally ends this month. So this weekend we packed the family up and off we went to the Burlington Mall  to buy a new iPhone. And I have to say, I love it! And I think it makes me a better mom. (Let the justification for too much time spent on phone begin... now...)

Just this morning, Nora and I were walking to school with her friends and it was just the cutest thing I had ever seen. So I whipped out my phone- snapped a photo and that was that. I realize you can do that with a million other phones, but it was so easy and later I sent it to Tim at work and it was just a breeze. And it looks cool. Listen, if I have to act like an adult 98% of the time a little childish excitement over my new toy is allowed. Right? Right.