Detox Diet Dropout

My favorite magazine lately is Whole Living. I scan the pages before I go to bed and think, "Yes! I can live like that! I'll practice yoga and meditate every day and eat only organic whole foods." Then the next morning comes, and it's right back to normal-- which isn't that bad. My family and I eat pretty well. But I do have a sweet tooth and have been known to polish off a pack of Whole Foods brownie bites in two days.

Anyways, the last issue of Whole Living had a 28-day detox plan. I jumped on the idea, as did my husband. The holidays were fantastic this year, but we had way too many dinners with steak, creamed spinach, mashed potatoes and red wine, and we felt like a detox would be a good way to start the new year.

Well, 12 hours into it, I'm out (brownie bites!), and I've come to the realization that I need caffeine and sugar to be an effective and engaged parent. How awful, but there, I've said it. Today I cut caffeine, sugar, wheat, dairy, alcohol and all other sorts of good things out of my diet, and it was pure hell. Actually the only part that was bad was the caffeine...and the sugar.

All day I was in a fog. After dinner I felt like little elves were perched on my cheekbones pulling my lower eyelids down. At six o'clock I sat on the floor and just prayed that the kids could entertain themselves before bedtime. And, they actually did. But a few times, the 4-y.o. would ask, "Mom, come dance?" and I had to decline. I felt terribly guilty, but I could not move my body.

Pathetic, I know. But there it is. I guess it's not that bad. Some parents need alcohol or drugs to get through the day, right? I just need a cookie and a cup of Starbucks.

My husband has a will of steel and is still going strong. Go Tim! I'll be cheering him the whole way as I sip my latte and nibble on a donut.